Damn... My creativity hasn't been inspired by anything yet, and I have so many creative desires to impose upon this worthless world... I want to write a book, but I am not stimulated to actually start the writing, or thinking portion of said book. I want to draw and color many pictures, but I am lazy and resent my scanner... There are many wants in my life, but I am unfortunately incapable, or unable to inspire myself into doing them. My life in being a Pharmacist is still in hiatus... I am now more able to do it though, thanks to a possible internship as a Pharmacutical Technician, but it is still a long ways to go... I am not really the artistically adapted between me and my sister... I do have an imagination, but I lack motivation... I am intelligent, but it wavers with my moods... I am very loyal to my friends, but I am easily turned away when I either feel my trust in them is put to question, or if I am emotionally being pulled apart by too many things and I just dump everything away and curl up into a ball while going into my happy place. So, I am rather F***ed up in a sense... -_- Not to mention that I am a misanthropic, nihilistic, satanic, agnostic, and pessimistic kind of person...

My negatives are somewhat easier for me to see than others who probably can see those things that are my positives. I try to see those, but they are hard to find. I am not depressed right now, but I am deep in thought over many things. I am more annoyed with my own inabilities, but I can get over those with time and determination. My father always tells me that I should show more determination in the things that I do, but it always goes from one ear and out the other. I probably should start with posting what I have so far from my stories, or throw some poems in here to at least show something that you can all enjoy. Well, I am going to go and drink some tea and eat a slice of something that my mom made called "Happiness Cake". -_- I fear whether or not it will be delicious, but I am going to attempt to be happy so it isn't a lying cake along with a possibly bad tasting one.